I don’t usually remember my dreams, but I woke up this morning and took a shower. There was a spider on the wall above the shower head and I remembered that I have been dreaming about spiders and cobwebs a lot lately… no … I’ve been dreaming about spiders in cobwebs.
They are usually large spiders, but not scary, flimsy and brown kind of like daddy long legs but not. It’s really the cobwebs that are strange to me. The cobwebs in my dreams have been there for a long time, they are thick and sometimes dusty. Almost always behind a door that is rarely closed.
I’m not really big into dream interpretation, but I do know the science behind REM sleep. REM is the part of sleep in which we dream; our conscious mind shuts down and the subconscious takes control. This allows all the things we pay little or no attention to consciously, to take center stage and preform behind our closed eyes.
When I think of cobwebs I think of abandoned and/or neglected spaces; boarded up houses, attics, basements, or the far reaching corners under beds and dressers. To me these are not scary places per-say; but places of possibility. I wonder what treasures could be hiding in such places, forgotten long ago just waiting to be rediscovered.
In my dreams I am not frightened by the cobwebs; rather I find them strangely beautiful and a bit disturbing. I feel as if I knew they were there and that I should sweep them away but for some reason I wouldn’t let myself see them. Now that I’ve found them I’m slightly disgusted with myself for having allowed them to build up so thick and dusty, but, I can’t bring myself to ruin them, knowing how hard the spiders have worked to build them.
Sometimes I find them behind the door because I see a spider crawling to them. It’s like the spiders are leading to this hidden spot.
Sometimes there is someone with me, and they are frightened by the spiders and cobwebs, in this version of the dream I do my best to squish the spiders while leaving the webs intact. All the while thinking that I should just clean them all away. As I said for some reason I can’t; I also can’t leave them. Once I find the webs I am unnaturally drawn to them. I can’t stop looking at them wondering how long they have been there. The person usually get’s disgusted and mad at me for not clearing the webs away and leaves.
I wonder if these dreams are my subconscious trying to get me to clean the cobwebs from the corners of my brain. I know that there are a lot of memories hidden those corners that I choose to ignore. Maybe these dreams are my subconscious trying to tell me that the cobwebs have grown too thick, and I need to stop ignoring them. But how do you confront a memory that you have spent years trying to forget?
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